fredag 17 juni 2011

COME RESCUE ME!


IMPRISONED BY LYME.

I colored my pain beautiful. Stop the war, badge says. No more atomic bombs! (In my joints.)(Fingers.) (Used to use them for work.)

Yellow is yelling - pain as sour as lemon. Like a cover-up or extra-skin.

See my eyes? Ever had neurological pain like glowing pins in the pupil?
Blue is icy neuro-pain, red is hammering, orange glowing.
The football is the trauma. The whole mess was named PTSD by my doctor. Post-traumatic stress-disorder. Ok, I said. Happy to have a name for this. It means my soul is aching? Yes, my Angel in White replied. Then the soul must be the biggest organ of the organism? I asked. She smiled, said nothing. I saw what she meant. It was all in my head. So here you look into the head of a patient of patience. For three years I got still worse. An expanding soul that crap was. By some kind of accident, a blood-sample was taken. "You have borrelia," she said. And then no more. What is that, I thought. After 3½ years. I found it on Google. OMG! 78 symptoms - I got bingo on 67. There it was! My Prison - no PTSD. What I hadn't got? Dementia, death, erection-disorder (well - I am a woman, but with lyme you never know).
I made an opening on top of the cell, just to get out of my skin some time.

söndag 12 juni 2011

MY NEUROLOGIST DR. ARKEBUZIUS.

SPECIALIZED IN MEASURING BLOODSTREAM IN THE BRAINS OF ELDERLY DEMENTED WOMEN.

So he measured mine.

As you see, the picture is not finished. I keep it in the cellar, were bad memories are locked up behind bars.

I feel sick, when I think back.

What he said? About me, having tremors, being spastic?

"They talk about neuroborrelisois - Lyme. There is no such. She is an old woman seeking attention. She is easily diverted. She has a colorful imagination. Her "tremor" is psychogenic."
I was dressed in orange. That sweater I have not used since. Makes me feel sick to my stomach and sad in heart.

Its said empathic doctors have the healthiest patients. They get cured, not harassed. - Makes kind of difference to your health---.

tisdag 7 juni 2011

WHEN I GOT SPASTIC.

MY ARMS WERE WAVING, MY LEGS FLUTTERED, MY FEET STUMBLED.

I LOOKED LIKE A WINDMILL IN FULL STORM.

So what do you do? Sit home for 8-9 months waiting for spiros to leave just that area of your neurological -center?

I thought: I am not the only one with spastic disease or tremor. I go for my regular walk, let them stare, I do not give a damn. I want fresh air, it soothes the neuropatic pain in skin and eyes.

In the night, a shivering got the bed jumping. Very exhausting way to rest, but after a while the body felt warm, the heartbeat calmed down - and my body came to rest. What a joy! Life is wonderful!